IN THE BEGINNING

Where to begin? The Lord has indeed been good, patient, kind, merciful and persistent with me. As He is with us all, I suppose. My very first post here, 'On Bended Knee' , describes what could only be called my conversion, even though I know He's been there all my life. From this point forward, my posts will be about my subsequent backslide, and my journey back to Him, until of course, the story is told.






God is patient. He waited, watched, and I'm certain sent out warning signs, as I spiraled into a pit from which only He could save me. I can't help but marvel at human nature and our determination to head for the muck and mire when heaven is at our grasp. We are a persistent people, are we not?


God is good. He saved me when I certainly didn't deserve it, and being the fallen being that I am, I immediately began to think that I had this whole 'Christian' thing down, whether I was 'on bended knee' or not. I didn't need a church, and although I knew I should read the Bible, I just didn't have time. My life was changing at a rapid pace.


I returned to work after some years at home. I didn't want to go back to work, mind you. I've always had a pull to be at home, tending to my duties here. (I don't know if that tends toward laziness or a true calling from God in this area, but I'm sure he will show me in time.) My marriage went through a period of complete upheaval. There were times when I really didn't think we would make it through the obstacles we were having to face. I'm sure I prayed, and I know I put it in God's hands, but at the same time, I made adjustments to myself that I thought would help, that were in no way biblical. I built up walls that God had torn down, determined that I could do no wrong, since He was in me.


And things did begin to turn around. The business actually began to thrive, by God's hand I'm certain. Promotions led me to a job that I enjoyed. Scott and I drew close and our daughter led us to a great spirit filled church. (Okay, maybe we do need a little Word in our lives after all, I'm sure we were thinking). We were drawing closer to one another. We successfully quit smoking after years and years. Yes, the future was so bright we had to wear shades.

And then...we lost our peace. Oh heaven help us, where'd it go? And just when everything was going our way....